Living in the Promise of Peace!

As I sit here and stare at the pages, all I can think about is how I am failing this season. Lingering, abiding, praying, reading your word all of it, is just thrown out the window. And all I can do is stare at it. I see it! It’s still right there, you haven’t moved it, not a single inch. But I haven’t wanted to pay it any attention. But today, I made myself go outside and pick it up. I made myself read it and talk to you about it.
The fact that you know me so well, is a comfort. I’m not scared of you. If anything, I know you can handle my brutal honesty. You can handle my mood swings and my lack of understanding. How I move on impulse and when I can’t move at all.
So, when I couldn’t figure out the root of my issues, you asked the question that made everything crystal clear. “Can you live in my promise of peace?”
As always, this caused my heart to stumble a beat because of how right you are. When will my heart fully believe that you are more than enough?
When will my heart and mind line up with the truth of my soul? All I have to do is be still. All I have to do is abide in you and it is more than enough. Resting in your love is more than enough. It is simply me and you. Exactly like you want it.
You continued to pour in wisdom, revealing how my lack of obedience made room for fear to settle in. Fear that I could count off by name, but I didn’t see how deeply it settled in.
This fear started to rule in place of my faith. I started to doubt the things in my life that revolve around you. I started filling my time with everything but you.
Now, I am no longer blind to the spiritual attack on my life.
Lingering in your promise of peace. Allowing the truth of who you are to wash over me.
Help me to not grow weary here. Show me how to dig up these deep wells.
You won’t ever fail me. Not for a single moment.
Help me to not fail you. I long to be diligent in entering your perfect rest.
Help me to not look to the right or the left. Help me not to come up with things on my own because all I want is you.
Even if my life never makes sense, all I want is you.